The Dangers of Helping: Enneagram 2’s

Are you a helper? Do you know a helper? You’ve probably witnessed what happens when a helper adopts someone they perceive in need of their services.

It’s like a small child and a baby chick.  They scoop up the baby chick and feel it’s soft fluffiness.  The nuzzle it against their cheek.  The chick probably feels nice and snug in the soft little hands.  Then the small child cuddles a little tighter and a snug turns to trapped.  And then……

Unhealthy helpers can consume you.

One vent session about how you are getting the short end of the stick and suddenly the helper is helping to identify all the times that’s happened to you.  You start to feel used and abused.  The only person on your side?  You guessed it, the helper.

Eventually the team is divided into the have’s and the have not’s.  The ruthless spotlight stealers on one side and the shepherd and his flock on the other.

Sadly, the shepherd keeps losing his sheep.  The sheep are miserable, have lost faith they can do anything to rectify their situation, and have relinquished control. The only option is to go munch on the grass on the other side of the fence.

The irony is that helpers often help because it’s where they find value in themselves.  The happiness they get from feeling is incredible.  They need to be needed, yet the people who need them end up leaving them for greener pastures.  And when there’s no one left to help they create more victims.

If you’re a helper, it’s okay.  You’re not a villain.  You’re selfless, strong, and perceptive.  Just ensure you’re empowering in your helping.  Strike a balance between being a supportive shoulder and voice of reason.  Walk the line between lending an ear and teaching someone to stand on their own two feet.

We NEED you on our teams.  You’re excellent leaders and teachers.  Your instincts in animal care are amazing.  Just don’t smother us please!

 

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