A bored eight is like a bored primate.  They’ll throw poop at you just to get a reaction.

There are a surprising number of eights in the animal world. 14% of the nearly 300 of you that answered on facebook in fact. Here’s my theory on why eights are drawn to the animal field: it’s difficult, if not impossible for eights to be nurturing, caring, or vulnerable with humans.  Animals, on the other hand is a safe place for us to let our guard down.

This means I get to sit back and watch a lot of eights.

I’ve seen one offend an entire facebook page by taking an unpopular stance against pandas.  She doesn’t dislike pandas, as a matter of fact she probably pretty apathetic about pandas, but one day, one little joke, got real for someone else and she couldn’t stop.  No doubt behind the hammering keys tagging #fakebears, #protestpandas, and discussing the waste of resources on their painful propagation was a bored eight grinning from ear to ear loving the conflict.

At lunch I watched an argument go down about coconut and almond milk being mislabeled.  A brave nine was stating an opinion, “If it comes from a fruit it should be a juice!” The wild eight in the room couldn’t let it go.  There would have been a fight to the death over semantics if it hadn’t have been time to clock back in.  Again, the eight didn’t lose a lick of sleep over coconut milk vs. coconut juice.  The nine however may have been a little shaken.

In highschool I created an entire petition and wrote letters to the school board because they threatened to move our graduation from the gym to the auditorium.  I cornered the principal in the copier room and let him have all of my thoughts and opinions about the matter.  My grandfather was on the school board.  He politely asked me to back-off….as a result I probably called the news.

Eights drive away people who could be friends, alienate potential collaborators, and make the hairs on the back of people’s neck stand up.  They are the definition of a bully.  They’ll push you down, steal your lunch money, stomp on your #fakebears notebook, and pour coconut juice on your head just so they can find out what you’re made of.

Back down and the eight wins, then walks away, chest puffed up looking for their next victim.

Don’t worry eights, you’re not all poo flinging monkeys.  You just act like it sometimes.  Remember what feels like closeness to you feels like conflict to others.  When you try to get to know someone better they feel bullied by you.

So turn it down.

Okay good, now turn it down some more.

Now you’re close to the volume of the rest of the world.

Next time you feel like fighting over spilled juice, get up and go do something productive.

 

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